choices we made....

i know for some reason, ALLAH has allowed me to be born into this world...  i just don't know yet what is that reason.

okay just for recap, i dont remember much about my life, but here what i can jot down...

since my childhood , i was considering myself as a pathetic character in my own story.. i don't get quite along with my other siblings, make a new friends is my biggest fear, and i always feel down all the time because my fat ass that have been hovering around like forever... I'm not a pretty or a super hot chick in my school, but that's fine with me, because i keep my mind on something else that time.. its softball.

it was an awesome feeling when you learn that there is actually something you can do in your life, and feeling useless at all... of course I'm not good at it, but i really enjoying my self played softball as much as i want that time... there is one time, the team decided to join a district level tournament, but my dad just wont allowed to join my team-mates, as he feared i might failed my so important SPM at that time.

but i took a very big, dangerous choices that day, i disobeyed him, and with my mom help, i went to the tournament that last 3 day... it was fun and i gained a lot of experience that time, and our team end up at 4th place, despite the fact we join it for our first time..

my return to home is not a pleasant one, as my dad refuse to talk to me for like a week... i try to make a talk with him, until one day he soften his heart a little bit one day... and the rest is history.. he don't called me as "anak derhaka" or anything after that...

guess i do have his side a little bit... but life has to go on...

next stop. i had already reach my form 6... first month , i was mad at myself because lot of my spm friends gets an offer to pursuit their studies at local college and universities... i still can remember clearly what my mom said to me that time, "rezeki org dengan rezeki kita x sama, mana tau ayong mungkin dapat rezeki yang lebih baik selepas ini.." then for the next year and half, i got my place at Universiti Malaya. although i dont feel really belong in there, i decide to stay there and see where it will take me in this life of mine...

and here i am, using the library account just to whine about my choices i had done for the rest of my life... i done a very bad things, and acting immature as i am, crying and keep down motivated myself, i will die alone, painfully and with huge debts lingering around my neck...

seriously, i had made a stupid choices.. by trusting a strangers and fooling those have been concerned about me...

and still i dare not to move from this spot, thinking either should i just quit my life, and hopes i will no longer hurts anyone with my attitude.

subject 20 : part 1

Hey yo, I've been looking forward to make a blog of mine, just for fun (and yeah, to followed someone else blog ) .

It wasn't as much fun I find when using Facebook.com , but at least I don't need to have few people "blocking" me from being their friends... (no offense, but I do blocked some too XD).


Anyway... I'm putting a little effort on this blog as I think I'm gonna use it less than my Fb site,  so please, no surprise for any friends that happen to found my blog to be some kind a pathetic-unused -blog.
I will do my best to make it more lively, but for now, let just make it simple and neat.. 


Farah Izzati are proudly welcoming you to my humble-looking blog ... hehehe XD